so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
