She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
