I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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