I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize
