I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize