with your own penis?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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