White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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