You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
