I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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