If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
