cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
