Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
