Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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