Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Randomize
