can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize