so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
