Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
