these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
