Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
