Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
