butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
