come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
