Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
