Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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