May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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