Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dick very happy bro
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
