The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
