I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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