So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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