lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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