i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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