During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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