there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
