office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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