im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
