Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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