Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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