i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
