he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
