Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
