that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
