So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
