how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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