This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
why is half of my head shaved?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
