i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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