Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
