3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
