Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
