You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
