how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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