OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
