i need an iv and a liver transplant
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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