I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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