The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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