Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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