I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
