I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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