We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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