K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Bring me that man meat
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
