do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
