he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
