Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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