porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
