it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize