Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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