You can't motorboat a personality
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
